It is time

to come clean and reveal

what "men really mean"

when they say:

 

 

"I'm going fishing."
Really means ... "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid,
and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish
swim by in complete safety."

 




"It's a guy thing."
Really means ... "There is no rational thought pattern connected
with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

 




"Can I help with dinner?"
Really means ... "Why isn't it already on the table?"

 




"It would take too long to explain."
Really means ... "I have no idea how it works.

 




"We're going to be late."
Really means ... "Now I have a legitimate excuse to

drive like a maniac."

 




"I was listening to you.  I just have things on my mind."
Really means ... "I was wondering if that red-head over there is
wearing a bra."

 




"Take a break, Honey, you're working too hard."
Really means ... "I can't hear the game over

the vacuum cleaner."

 




"That's interesting, dear."
Really means ... "Are you still talking?"

 




"It's a really good movie."
Really means ... "It's got guns, knives, fast cars,

and beautiful women."

 




"You know how bad my memory is."
Really means ... "I remember the theme song to "F Troop,"

the address of the first girl I ever kissed
and the Vehicle Identification Numbers
of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot
your birthday."

 




"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
Really means .... "The girl selling them on the corner

was a real babe."

 




"Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself, it's no big deal."
Really means ... "I have actually severed a limb,

but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."

 




"Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing."
Really means ... "And I sure hope

I think of some pretty soon."

 




"I can't find it."
Really means ... "It didn't fall into my outstretched

hands, so I'm completely clueless."


"What did I do this time?"
Really means ... "What did you catch me at?"

 




"I heard you."
Really means ... "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said
and I'm hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that
you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

 




"You know I could never love anyone else."
Really means ... "I am used to the way you yell at me,

and realize it could be worse."

 




"You look terrific."
Really means ... "Oh, God, please don't try on one

more outfit. I'm starving."

 




"I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are."
Really means ... "No one will ever see us

alive again."

 




"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really means ... Absolutely nothing.

It's a conditioned response.

 

We invite you to enlighten some of your friends
who may be fooled about what men really mean
OR show your man you now understand him completely.

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