Did you hear
about the South Carolina redneck who passed away and left
his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can't touch it until she's fourteen.
What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a redneck?
The good ol' boy raises livestock.
The redneck gets emotionally involved.
What's the most popular pick-up line in Alabama?
"Nice tooth".
Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911.
The 911 operators told Bubba she would send someone
out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How
'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?'
How do you know when your staying in a Kentucky hotel
When you call the front desk and say, "I've gotta
leak in my sink" and the person at the front desk says, "go ahead."
How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married?
There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup
truck.
Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in
Tennessee to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
A documentary.
How many rednecks does it take to eat a 'possum?
Two. One to eat and one to watch for traffic.
Why did God invent Armadillos?
So that Texas rednecks can have 'possum on the half shell.
Where was the toothbrush invented?
Oklahoma. If it was invented anywhere else it would
have been called a teethbrush.
Arkansas State Trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40.
He says to the driver,
"Got any ID?"
The driver says "Bout what?"
Did you here about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
Why did O. J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little
Rock, Arkansas Burned Down?
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.
A new law recently passed in North Carolina:
When a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister.
What's the best thing ever to come out of Arkansas?... I-40.
Two Mississippians are walking down different end of a street toward
each other, and one is carrying a sack. When they meet, one says "Hey
Tommy
Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guess how many they are, can I have one?'
"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
"OK. Ummmmmmmm . . . five?"
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a
hurricane in Florida have in common?
Somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.
A Mississippian came home and found his house on fire, He
rushed next door,telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here.
My house is on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "How do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you still have them big red trucks?"
Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movies theater in groups of 18 or
more?
'Cuz 17 and under not admitted.
Where are most
family reunions held in West Virginia?
Singles Bars. (Thanks for the
submission.)
One day a
RedNeck was riding a horse and got her foot caught in the stirrup.
She was banging her head on the ground. She almost died too ...
except the WalMart store manager came out and unplugged the horse.
(Thanks for the submission.)
You might be a
redneck if.....
One of your family members died after saying the phrase,
"Hey ya'll, watch this!"
(Thanks Robby)
You might be a
REDNECK if.....
you cut your grass and you find a car.
(Thank Ryan)
What is one
thing you know for sure about a 12 year old North Carlolina virgin?
She can out run her daddy.
(Thanks B.)
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