to Change a
Lightbulb?How Many ???
Are Required
to Change a Lightbulb?
1. How many CHARISMATICS
does it take to change a light bulb?
TEN - One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
2. How many CALVINISTS
does it take to change a light bulb?
None - God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not change light
bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray that the light bulb will be one that has
been chosen to be changed.
3. How many TV
EVANGELISTS does it take to change a light bulb?
Only One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today!
4. How many INDEPENDENT
FUNDAMENTALISTS does it take to change a light bulb?
Only One, because any more might result in too much cooperation.
5. How many LIBERAL
THEOLOGIANS does it take to change a light bulb?
At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even
if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb, they still might not change it, to
keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.
6. How many CATHOLICS
does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They always use candles.
7. How many WORSHIP
LEADERS who use guitars does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.
8. How many UNITED
METHODISTS does it take to change a light bulb?
In response to that question the denomination issued the following statement: "We
choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb.
However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is
fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal
relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or non-dark source), and present it
next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of
light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long life, halogen,
and tinted -- all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence."
9. How many members of a BAPTIST
church does it take to change a light bulb?
TEN - One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much better they liked the old
one.
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