All Blondes Are Easy.

All Blonds Are Easy

Ah, the fair-haired lovlies,
what would we do without them?
Certainly Life would be less fun.

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and goes, "Where?"

A blonde, worried about the HIV crisis, walks into a drugstore and purchases a pack of condoms.
"That will be $1.08, please," says the clerk.
"What's the 8 cents for?" asks the blonde. "It says one dollar right here on the packaging."
"Tax," replies the clerk.
"Gee," says the blonde, "I thought you just rolled them on and they stayed put."

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But. what happened to your other ear?"
"The person called back."

This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde woman for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"
The blonde quickly responded, "The living one."

One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse. Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.

"Excuse me, could you tell me the time?" asked the blonde of a man on the street corner.
"Sure....it's three fifteen," he replied with a smile.
"Thanks," she said, a puzzled look crossing her face. "You know, it's the
weirdest thing ... I've been asking that question all day long, and each time I get a different answer."

A blonde and a brunette are walking through a park. The brunette, looking at the ground, says, "Look! A dead bird!" The blonde looks up at the sky and says, "Where?!"

A blonde's house is on fire. She runs outside and yells, "Help me! My
house is on fire! What do I do?!"
Someone else yells, "Call 911!"
The blonde yells back, "What's the number?!"

A blond was attempting to put together a jigsaw puzzle; she called a friend to ask for help.
She called her friend and said, "I have this killer jigsaw puzzle and I
cannot figured it out. Can you come over and give me a hand with it?"
Her friend asked her what the jigsaw puzzle was of, to which she replied, "from the picture on the box, it's supposed to be a tiger!"
Her friend, figuring he was pretty good at jigsaw puzzles said he would be right over!
When he got there, he looked at the puzzle; he looked at the box, and he looked at her and said, "First of all, there is no way that I can show you how to put this together to look like the tiger on the box; and, second, just sit down and have a cup of coffee and relax; and than put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!" (Thanks Ann)

A woman walks into the doctors office and says,
Doctor I hurt all over." The doctor says, "That's
impossible." "No really! Just look, when I touch my arm,
ouch! it hurts. When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts.
When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts. When I touch my
chest, ouch! it really hurts she replies.
The doctor just shakes his head and says, "You're a
natural blond aren't you?" The woman smiles and says,
"Why yes I am. How did you know?"
The doctor replies, "Because your finger is broken."
(Thanks)

What goes:
Vroom, screech- vroom, screech- vroom, screech??
A blonde at a flashing red light!!!!
(Thanks)

A blonde walked into a shoestore and wanted to but some alligator shoes. She
found some and asked the clerk how much they were. The clerk told her the
shoes cost $98, and she stared at him. "Fine! I'll get my own alligator
shoes!" and stalked out. The next day,the clerk was taking a walk on the
beach and saw a whole bunch of upside down alligators on the shore. He saw
the blonde from the shoe store run into the water, wrestle an alligator, and
pulled it back up onto the shore. She flipped it over and said "Dang, this
one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
(Thanks)

A blonde and a brunette were racing down a water slide. Who won?
The brunnete wins because the blonde stops and asks for directions.
(Thanks)

There was a man who had a beautiful blonde wife and their aniversary was
comming up. He got her a cell phone for a present. One day the wife was
out shopping when her phone rang. It was her husband. He said "hi hon,
hows your new cell phone?" "Oh its just wonderful! Its so cute and
little and I can here you clear as a bell. There's just one thing that I
don't understand." "Really. Whats that?" "How did you know that I was at
K-Mart?"
(Thanks Amy)

A blonde wants to make some easy money so she goes to the park and
kidnaps one of the children. She writes a note asking for $10,000 in a brown
paper bag near the maple tree by 3 o'clock noon tomorrow. She signs the note
-the blonde. Then she pins the note to the kid and sends him on his way. The
next day at 3 o'clock she finds a brown paper bag with 10,000 dollars in it.
There is also I note that reads "I can't believe one blonde would do this to
another".
(Thanks)

80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for
a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" Convention. The leader says, "We
are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are
not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" A blonde gingerly
works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.
The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?"
After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "Eighteen!"
Obviously everyone is a little disappointed.
Then 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another
chance! Give her another chance!" The leader says, "Well
since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you
in one place and we have the world-wide press and global
broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her
another chance." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"
After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "Ninety?"
The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets
out a dejected sigh -- everyone is disheartened - the
blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell
and wave their hands shouting,
"GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"
The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm
than damage, eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance
-- What is 2 plus 2?"
The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute
eventually says, "Four?". Throughout the stadium
pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their
feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream...

"GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"
(Thanks)