A Parent's
Dictionary
AMNESIA:
Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make love again.
DUMBWAITER:
One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
FAMILY PLANNING:
The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of
financial disaster.
FEEDBACK:
The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
FULL NAME:
What you call your child when you're mad at him.
GRANDPARENTS:
The people who think your children are wonderful
even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
HEARSAY:
What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
IMPREGNABLE:
A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
INDEPENDENT:
How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we tell them to.
OW:
The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
PUDDLE:
A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
SHOW OFF:
A child who is more talented than yours.
STERILIZE:
What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier
by blowing on it.
TOP BUNK:
Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.
TWO MINUTE WARNING:
When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting
noises.
VERBAL:
Able to whine in words
WHODUNIT:
None of the kids that live in your house...
RESPONSIBILITY:
Don't worry, it's highly unlikely your children will learn to use big words like these
MINE:
The only word a child can remember in the toy store
GIMME:
An indication that a child really likes something
I DON'T KNOW:
Proof that your children need a proper education
NOT ME:
The name of the invisible child that you didn't know you had. This child breaks more
household items, causes more messes, & more stress in your life than all the other
children combined
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