A Parent's
Dictionary

 

AMNESIA:
Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to make  love again.



DUMBWAITER:
One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.



FAMILY PLANNING:
The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.



FEEDBACK:
The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.



FULL NAME:
What you call your child when you're mad at him.



GRANDPARENTS:
The people who think your children are wonderful
even though they're sure you're not raising them right.



HEARSAY:
What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.



IMPREGNABLE:
A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.



INDEPENDENT:
How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we tell them to.



OW:
The first word spoken by children with older siblings.



PUDDLE:
A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.



SHOW OFF:
A child who is more talented than yours.



STERILIZE:
What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.



TOP BUNK:
Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.



TWO MINUTE WARNING:
When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make  those familiar grunting noises.



VERBAL:
Able to whine in words



WHODUNIT:
None of the kids that live in your house...



RESPONSIBILITY:
Don't worry, it's highly unlikely your children will learn to use big words like these



MINE:
The only word a child can remember in the toy store



GIMME:
An indication that a child really likes something



I DON'T KNOW:
Proof that your children need a proper education



NOT ME:
The name of the invisible child that you didn't know you had. This child breaks more household items, causes more messes, & more stress in your life than all the other children combined

 

 

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