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You gotta
hate
it when..
You have to
try on a pair of sunglasses with that
stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.
Your glasses aren't where you thought you left them
and you can't see well enough to look for them without
having them to wear.
The person behind you in the supermarket runs
his cart into the back of your ankle.
The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets
on.
There's always a car riding your tail when you're
slowing down to find an address.
You open a can of soup, and the lid falls in.
It's bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you
don't realize it till you walk across your living room
rug.
There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at
EVERYTHING.
You can never put anything back in a box the way
it came.
Three hours and three meetings after lunch you
look in the mirror and discover a piece of parsley
stuck to your front tooth.
You drink from a soda can into which someone
has extinguished a cigarette.
You slice your tongue licking an envelope.
Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're
trying to get a reading.
A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing
near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every
time you move away.
There are always one or two ice cubes that won't
pop out of the tray.
You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket
and your entire laundry comes out covered with
lint.
The car behind you blasts its horn because you
let a pedestrian finish crossing.
A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical
contact with your filling.
You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm
instead of 7am.
The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that
song.
You rub on hand cream and can't turn the
bathroom doorknob to get out.
People behind you on a supermarket line dash
ahead of you to a counter just opening up.
Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.
You can't look up the correct spelling of a word
in the dictionary because you don't know how to
spell it.
You have to inform five different sales people in
the same store that you're just browsing.
You had that pen in your hand only a second ago,
and now you can't find it.
You reach under the table to pick something off
the floor and smash your head on the way up
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