To My Dearest Redneck Son,
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when
you left home. Your Dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles
of your home, so we moved.
I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here
took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address. This
place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well,
though. Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them
since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days
and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Billy
Bob said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off
and put them in the pockets. Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really
worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't
know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother. Uncle Bobby Ray
fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off
and drowned. We had him cremated, he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off
a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to
safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get
the tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.
Your Favorite Aunt,
Mom
Send this
page
to your friends.
If the link above is busy, please use this
one.
Do You Know The Answer to These
Questions: