Marriage Funnies

 

At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your
wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other
replied, "Yes, I am, I
married the wrong man."

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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife,
"You know, I was a fool when
I married you." She replied, "Yes, dear, but I
was in love and didn't notice.

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A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted." Next day
she received a hundred letters. They all said the
same thing: "You can have mine."

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The bride, upon her engagement, went to her
mother and said, "I've found
a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So
what do you want from me, sympathy?"

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much
does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know
son, I'm still paying."

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Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in
some parts of Africa a man
doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew
that real happiness was  until
I got married; and then it was too late."

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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence. Second marriage
is the triumph of hope over experience.
Anything after that is stupidity
at its best!

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If you want your spouse to listen and pay
strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.

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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men
would go through life  thinking
they had no faults at all.

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How do most men define marriage? An expensive
way to get laundry done for free.

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The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it........once.

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First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."